Guide to getting and playing better gigs
Guitars Vs Women
You can share your guitar with your friends.
Guitars don't care how many other guitars you've played
Guitars don't care if you look at other guitars.
Guitars don't care if you buy guitar magazines.
Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
Your parents won't remain in touch with your old guitar after you dump it.
Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other guitars.
You can play your guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
Guitars don't have parents.
Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
You can share your guitar with your friends.
Guitars don't care how many other guitars you have.
Guitars don't care if you look at other guitars.
You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
If your guitar is flat you can fix it.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your guitar.
If you say bad things to your guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
You can play your guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can stop playing your guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
Guitars don't get headaches.
Guitars don't care if you're late.
You don't have to take a shower before you play your guitar.
If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your guitar.
A guitar has a volume control.
You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to.
You can unplug a guitar.
You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more.
You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested.
You can have a guitar any colour you want and no one will care.
You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar.
You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to your liking.
If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required.
You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free.
It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
Well?